HBP blog

I wrote this recently: One thing I do well is embody and express the struggle of being a human; this is my “action.”

I was lying in my bed tonight not able to sleep; thinking about how it would be better if I was dead. Sad right? Sort of scary to know about me if you know me, I guess. I am not actively suicidal but I do succumb sometimes to feelings of not wanting to be here. These feelings are deeper than my very grateful attachments to my daughters and husband, and my work as a teacher, of which I am embarrassingly proud.

I often don’t get the point of me. What is the fucking point of seeing and feeling so much? So rereading that recent paper where I arrived at the sort of circular but also meaningful conclusion that “my struggle is me, that’s who I am, that’s why I’m here” has helped me a bit. It’s just that I live in a world where struggle is supposed to be private and/or fixed. If you can’t fix it, something must be wrong with you, right?

I am not mentally ill. I do not find that to be an adequate or useful label. My problem is not brain chemistry. My problem is sensitivity. Not only am I sensitive to chemicals. Not only do I have fragile physical health. I am not always emotionally well. How do I fucking discuss this without a label to hang it on? How do I fucking discuss this when I feel embarrassed and ashamed that I haven’t fixed it? How do I discuss it when I reject the medical model for “helping” me?

Also, how do I discuss this when I actually think that my “problem” is a kind of solution? If more people were sensitive, one of my theories goes, we’d be moving forward a lot quicker. But no one (or almost no one) is interested in this solution. I am useless and invisible.

I started this project to do what I could do to move humanity forward but I feel like I have barely moved myself forward. I struggle. Sometimes I write about it. I rarely talk about it, even to my husband, even as a teacher of public speaking. I feel like I should have more skill but I have almost no skill at bridging this private/public gap, especially in spoken language.

There is a glaring illustration of this in the form of my family of origin. I feel like the person they think they know bears little relation to the person I am and probably vice versa. I am the only one who appears to be bothered by this.

Recently I found out something interesting about someone I know that has really been floating in my brain. She went to Queen’s to do her undergrad around the same time I did. To me, her experience sounds like it was incredibly nurturing; she said it was “like a family” for her. In contrast, my experience bordered on traumatic. I felt severe culture shock amongst the scions of Eastern entitlement; and I was completely taken off guard by the culture of intense drunkenness and cult like Queen’s-superiority devotion. I flailed academically, had no idea why I was there, and changed my major 5 times. Eventually I did meet people who became lifelong friends. But Queen’s turned me off academia in a way that I have still not overcome.

My husband and I met there, as well, but didn’t get together for more than 20 years. So I wouldn’t have Sophia if not for Queen’s. And I wouldn’t have Claire if I’d had my friend’s smoother-seeming experience. So I’m good with it. I believe our two experiences are interesting in a karmic sense. My friend is a well known artist and a respected professor with all the benefits those positions in life provide. And, look at me, I am basically a nobody. I feel envious in some ways and also, in a way like how I am with my health, I don’t know how to fix it. So I’m envious, don’t know what I could have done differently, feel stupid for not being more skillful. (Holy contradictory paragraph, hey?! Let me rephrase: I am good with the Sophia and Claire parts of the karma, not so much the stupid nobody part.)

I am not a patient person. But good things have come to me. It took me 39 years for the deep love I yearned for to start entering my life (beginning with my beloved dog, Swampy). I had Claire at 40. I found a life partner in Dave at 43. I had Sophia at 45. Maybe my use and visibility and skill will someday also become more apparent. In the meantime, sometimes I really struggle. And I struggle with the struggle because it feels to me that there’s nowhere to be in it.

A few weeks ago I went to some 12-step meetings. I liked the Narcotics Anonymous meeting. Those are some intense people. I went because it felt like an okay place to show up as a fucked-up human. It was. But I’m not an addict and the addiction model is another limiting one.

We need new models.

A chance off-the-cuff remark by Christie Blatchford in the Globe and Mail this weekend regarding scent-free work environments has kept me up late writing a letter to the editor (see below). After a decade of basically keeping my mouth shut about this, she has sent me over the edge into doing something about this issue. I am going to start pursuing scent-free policies at the U, the college and the school sysytem.
Dear Editor:

I have often appreciated the willingness of Christie Blatchford to express her personal pain when it comes to the suffering of others. Yet in the case of those who suffer from chemical sensitivities, it seems that, since Christie has had no personal experience of or contact with this common and growing environmental illness, the difficulties of these people deserve her ridicule.

Chemical scents are pervasive, unavoidable and full of the extremely scary, documented poisons that are regularly discussed with deep concern in this very paper (including the Focus section of the issue in which Christie scoffs at scent-free workplaces). They are completely unregulated and marketed to a rapt, ignorant public as necessary for such basic requirements as attractiveness and fresh air. In fact they are one of our biggest sources of indoor air pollution. They exist in deodorants, colognes and perfumes, lotions, hair products, detergents, soaps, laundry products, cleaning products, rooms sprays and plug-ins, etc.

I am one of the canaries in the coalmine. I am severely sensitive to these products. Reactions for me vary from wooziness to extreme flu-like symptoms and central nervous system disorder that can last for days. As an art student at university, I found it ironic to see volumes of safety regulations and intensive safety training around the chemicals in paint and other art materials when every day I was regularly poisoned by my fellow students in Art History class (mornings are the worst when everyone arrives “fresh” from applying their “clean-smelling” products).

Now as a contract instructor at a college, I have no recourse in my workplace but to ask for voluntary cooperation from my students and office mates. Needless to say, many people react like Christie Blatchford with disbelief, scorn and no urge to cooperate. They are not journalists for a national newspaper so I have a little more sympathy for their brainwashed views. Of course, I have no control over the rest of my activities; I have had to leave restaurants, buses, concerts, plays, classrooms, and work to avoid getting very ill. I have had to endure sickness to fly in planes and do my job.

Christie Blatchford is a strong proponent of children’s rights. I am the working mother of two little kids. I, and people like me, need to look after our kids. More important to consider is the medically accepted idea that children are far more sensitive to chemicals than adults. Their livers are not as able to filter toxins as ours are. The documented rise of childhood asthma alone is one key measurable that should alert us to the problems of such chemicals in our indoor environment. While I am aware of how these chemicals are affecting me, I wonder if children who are similarly affected are able to express what is going on with them.  I’m thinking of the many children who lack energy and focus; some end up being diagnosed with disorders that require them to ingest more chemicals in the form of drugs. We are risking the health of our children for what? The twisted idea of “freshness.”

Like tobacco companies, the companies and executives that sell these products–companies with deeply entrenched, “respected” brands–will have a lot to answer for. I’m a little ahead of the curve, Christie, “thanks” to my sensitivities. Personally, I am grateful that there are some workplaces where people are letting go of their accepted notions about scented products. Just because these products are ubiquitous does not mean they are safe.

Tasha Diamant
Lethbridge, Alberta

Introduction: My Motivation

As an instructor of public speaking at Lethbridge College since 2003, I am very fortunate to witness often quite substantial transformation in my students. Some changes that I get to see in my students include: they become much more confident as speakers (and as humans), they take more creative risks in terms of content and delivery, and as a group they become a supportive community. I also find it exceedingly moving that many of them begin to realize in a much deeper way that they have something important to bring to the world. Fear is replaced with excitement!

My personal mission as a teacher and artist is to use my own understanding and struggles with vulnerability to help people (myself included) expand their emotional comfort zone. Why? I believe humans need to change their habitual way of dealing with vulnerability or we are in big trouble—I feel a sense of urgency about this. What is not commonly discussed is how emotions guide our every act. Rather, we paint our actions in a coat of rationality. The problems humanity faces today (global warming, world poverty, engrained misogyny, war, social injustice, etc.) are the results of actions primarily based upon emotions caused by feelings of vulnerability. Pretty much every non-child walking the earth today operates out of a sense of self-worth that is attached to their ego (I am not exempt). Healthy self-worth is childlike, i.e. not about what a great person you are but about feeling comfortable in your own skin. The actions that have brought us to the problems of today’s world were not created by people who feel comfortable in their skin but by people who need to make up for that lack of comfort, i.e. all of us.

Creativity and vulnerability are linked. Sharing creativity is a vulnerable act. Public speaking by its nature is a particularly vulnerable act. The college’s outcomes for public speaking class are fairly straightforward, such as, “apply public speaking skills toward personal and professional enhancement” and “build and demonstrate self-confidence in oral communication” (Lethbridge College, 2008). I also see public speaking in the bigger picture as a creative platform for people to get more comfortable in their own skin, to have more opportunity to explore the shared human issue of vulnerability, and to connect more meaningfully and compassionately with other humans.

About PRS 155 Speech (Public Speaking Class at Lethbridge College)

PRS 155 is administered by the college’s General Studies program in the School of Liberal Arts. It is required for some programs of study including the business diploma and can be counted as a U of L GLER transfer credit. PRS 155 students are required to present four prepared speeches as well as at least three impromptu speeches.

Background: Web 2.0 and the 21st Century Learner

The next generation of Web use or Web 2.0 has arrived; students are basically there and we need to go with them. Not only that, as we have agreed in this class, we need to prepare our students for the exponential transformations and unknowns of the 21st century. The issues involved for 21st century learning is perhaps best summarized by the International Society for Technology in Education’s list of standards for students which address: creativity and innovation; communication and collaboration; research and information fluency; critical thinking, problem solving, and decision making; digital citizenship; and technology operations and concepts (ISTE, 2007).

There are three emergent technologies that I propose to begin utilizing in my public speaking classes (see below). These address some Web 2.0 and 21st century learning concepts and issues; they also address my own big picture vision. I actually see the changes in web use that are taking place, 21st century learning concepts, and my mission as linked to a paradigm shift that needs to take place and in some ways is taking place; all are about, among other things, opening up the world and creating more/new/sometimes radical connections between humans.

Many theorists have adopted the term the new Web or Web 2.0. For Edward J. Maloney, Director of Research and Learning Technologies at Georgetown University’s Center for New Designs in Learning and Scholarship, the new Web is “less a planned upgrade than a recognition of the way small technical developments, along with quite significant changes in practice, are altering how we interact with information and with each other in the electronic medium” (Maloney, 2007, p. B26). Maloney adds that one of the developments has been “the ability of people to write to the Web without the specialized skills once necessary to create a Web page.” Now people create their own online content. What this means, says Maloney (2007, p. B26), is that “the second-generation Web—wikis, blogs, social networking, and so on—all encourage a more active, participatory role for users.”

Maloney adds that these new uses “mirror much of what we know to be good models of learning, in that they are collaborative and encourage active participation.” (p. B26). Bryan Alexander, director of research for the American National Institute for Technology and Liberal Education, concurs. He cites another educator regarding the exciting self-directed learning that goes on in Web 2.0:

Students who write words on paper, yes—but who also compose words and images and create audio files on Web logs (blogs), in word processors, with video editors and Web editors and in e-mail and on presentation software and in instant messaging and on listservs and on bulletin boards—and no doubt in whatever genre will emerge in the next ten minutes. Note that no one is making anyone do any of this writing. (Yancey, 2004, as cited in Alexander, 2008, p. 150)

Alexander notes that students have increasingly become Web 2.0-literate, “living Web 2.0 digital lives,” and that many teachers are actually doing their best to adapt to their students. “However,” he adds, “K-12 institutions are often behind, building classrooms constructed physically and socially along decades-old patterns” (2008, p. 152).

Alexander discusses Web 2.0 as a set of “digital strategies” (p. 152) such as “social software or social networking” (p. 152) (including blogs, wikis, facebook, flickr, etc.); “microcontent” (p. 152), i.e. small pieces of content placed on the Web that, as Maloney mentions above, require little effort; “social filtering” (p. 153), where works have multiple authors and the authorship changes over time; and tags (“single words that users choose and apply to microcontent” (p. 152)) that lead to “social bookmarking” (p. 156) or “collaborative information filtering” (p. 156), where users can see how others assess content and find people with corresponding interests. Alexander’s array is, no doubt, a somewhat mind boggling, but useful list for the “digital immigrant” educator (Prensky, 2005-2006).

Alexander adds that the Web 2.0 universe is a global one:

Students partaking of this rich international conversation find themselves catapulted beyond the physical boundaries of the classroom or library. Moreover, writing for a global audience is a powerful stimulus for questioning personal identity, representing oneself through writing, and understanding an audience. (p. 156)

Of course, what he refers to here could also be applied to an online speech.

He also discusses the gaming industry which he says has “dwarfed” (p. 158) not only Web 2.0 but also Hollywood and the music industry. Says Alexander: “Game content constitutes an increasing proportion of the informational world, especially as experienced by K-16 students.” (p. 158-159). Basically, says Alexander, we as educators have a lot of work to do to address and keep up with these new, multilevel literacies.

Another education writer, David Warlick (2006) has cleverly put together a “day in the life of Web 2.0” (p. 20-26) for readers to understand how using all of these strategies might look in a school setting. Warlick’s hypothetical science teacher, Ms. S., listens to podcasts on her MP3 player on the way to work. The device has scanned her subscribed podcasts overnight, three of which it has downloaded. Ms. S. will select one or two to share with her students. Mr. K., a health teacher, like Ms. S., reads the school’s teacher blogs and writes his own. Through her blog, he knows Ms. S. will be covering genetics so he arranges to meet with her to create a combination assignment… and so on (Warlick, 2006). Warlick’s hypothetical day at a hypothetical middle school is a lovely vision of local and global collaboration and communication through Web 2.0 tools.

All of these writers share a vision of the powerful possibilities for 21st century learning offered by Web 2.0 in terms of creativity, collaboration and knowledge generation. They also share an understanding that these strategies constitute the way students live, work, play and think. These writers add to the growing voices arguing that educators need to be living, using and continuing to develop in the ways of the new Web. Both Alexander and Maloney express dismay that institutions are not keeping up, while Warlick’s day reads like a contemporary-minded educator’s dreamy utopia. These articles’ descriptions and analyses of the applications of the new Web, as well as the arguments outlined (especially the depth of Alexander’s piece), are convincing and enlightening—particularly for educators not fully versed in these concepts.

The “real life”-“school life” intersection provided by integrating technology and Web 2.0 thinking is particularly compelling. Public speaking itself is a subset of self-expression (i.e. who a person is in “real life”). To apply emergent technology to the public speaking setting is an added way to create “real life” context or relevance for students. In the big picture, as well, this technological shift might be seen as paradigmatic—the more that people move into a world of creativity, connection and collaboration, the better off we can hope humanity will be. (Sadly, it must be acknowledged that violent and deviant people are clever about using the Internet, as well).

Utilizing Three Emergent Technologies in Public Speaking Class: Rationale and Goals

Improving my use of interactive whiteboards: Interactive whiteboards are, as a key manufacturer notes, a great “tool for collaboration, improving student learning outcomes and streamlining lesson planning” (SMART, 2006, p. 5). Education writer Neal Starkman quotes educational consultant Benjamin Hazzard, who says: “It isn’t about the boards; it’s about the learning that is happening. The boards are a conduit…” (Hazzard, as cited in Starkman, 2006, p. 1) In other words, as we have discussed in this class, the boards do not and should not replace good teaching, but they can enhance it.

I have been using the SMARTboard interactive whiteboard for years and only realized during this class that special software designed for the SMARTboard exists (SMARTboard Notebook). Because the SMARTboard Notebook software is designed for SMARTboards, it is very simple and handy to use. I have always used PowerPoint in the past, but in a very basic and limited way. I can now see myself using SMARTboard Notebook for making more resilient presentations in which students also take part. I can see that it would be smoother and easier to use the SMARTboard for what we would usually have done on the non-interactive whiteboard, such as mind maps, creating outlines, refining central ideas, that sort of thing.

Using the resources available in SMARTboard Notebook will make presentations easier to produce and possibly more visually stimulating. I can also see there would be value in teaching my students to use it for their presentations. This technology is in my classroom and I’ve been using it in a less than full sense. It behooves me to at least try it.

Internet sharing/social networking sites: My students’ speeches are currently video-recorded for the purpose of self-evaluation. I would like to get them to use at least one of their recordings for the further purpose of placing it on an Internet sharing/social networking site, like YouTube or MySpace. As the theorists above have noted, students are already ardent producers, consumers and users on these sites, i.e. engaged in the world of Web 2.0. This gives them a couple of opportunities to integrate their “real lives” with their “school lives” and broaden both: in the sense of using the sites they are already hanging out in and, as mentioned above, in the sense that public speaking is a subset of self-expression (i.e. who a person is in “real life”).

Posting a speech would also offer them the potential of connecting with a much wider audience (beyond our 20-30-person classroom). I am looking to expand their comfort zone by placing them “in front” of that bigger audience in order to become a more confident and connected speaker/human. I am also hoping that students will become more engaged because they are creating a speech that has the potential to reach more people. If they do indeed get a big audience, this will almost certainly enhance their engagement with the whole process.

Education writer, Jeffrey Young, describes an anthropology professor at Kansas State University, Michael Wesch, who, while writing a paper about Web 2.0, uploaded a video about Web 2.0 practices to YouTube. In a very short time his video had been viewed more than two million times and had engendered a great deal of online discussion, basically proving his point that Web 2.0 has significantly changed the way people connect and exchange ideas. Wesch and nine undergraduates began conducting an ethnographic study of the online community of video bloggers. “If you could name a core value on YouTube, it’s authenticity” (Wesch, as cited in Young, 2007, p. A42). In the course of study, some of his students became passionate video bloggers or podcasters themselves (Young, 2007). It remains to be seen if any public speaking students’ speeches will become popular like Wesch’s video. There are parallels, though, between creating podcasts or video blogs and posting speeches. There seems to be a decent likelihood that posting speeches could lead to podcasting and/or continuing authentic communication for at least some students.

Posting a speech will be voluntary (I will offer between 2%-5% bonus marks). These sites are free and pretty much self-explanatory to use—that Web 2.0 ease and simplicity—so the technicalities of posting will not be onerous.

Classroom clickers: For the two purposes of audience-analysis and critiquing of speeches, I’d like to experiment with using hand-held student response system keypads or clickers (the college already has TurningPoint’s clickers and software).

In my class, after students speak, the class offers feedback. There are guidelines in place to help the speaker receive criticism in a kind and constructive way. For instance, strengths are discussed first. Still, for whatever reason, some people rarely participate; also, most of my students are reluctant to discuss the weaknesses of their peers’ speeches (they’re “too nice”). I would like to see if the clickers are useful to expand critique dialogue or even just to keep students more engaged when they are audience members because they are using a keypad, a tactile, “21st century” object that has a similar feel to the handheld computer games or PDA/cellphones that they are used to using.

A pastor in Florida, Steve Fortenberry, uses TurningPoint to help engage audiences in his Sunday sermons. He stated, “With the anonymity and the safety factor, members are more honest” when he asks his congregation to answer personal questions by using the keypads (Turning Technologies, 2006-2008). He added: “The [results] charts show everyone that they aren’t alone…” (Turning Technologies, 2006-2008). As in Fortenberry’s church, audience members in speech class may be more comfortable being honest when they can critique a speech anonymously. They may also find reassurance in the results charts, as did the churchgoers, to see that they were not the only ones who had certain criticisms.

The results charts will also allow the speaker to see where the class really stands on a speech. Whether this type of criticism for the speakers is more useful or too painful or somewhere in between, remains to be observed. What I foresee is that as we create a supportive community it shouldn’t be a big deal for speakers to see their results in black and white (fingers crossed). These coming students in the fall term will walk into public speaking class not really knowing that I have done it differently in the past. I do think it will be important to get some buy-in ahead of time by discussing the value of the critique and by posing worthwhile questions. I would agree with Pastor Fortenberry that the value of Turning Point is “all in the quality of the question” (Turning Technologies, 2006-2008). See Appendix A for proposed critique questions.

As an additional use of the TurningPoint software, I think it would be interesting to encourage student speakers to come up with their own questions about what they want to ask their audience; thus adding another level of investment in their speaking and buy-in to using the software.

In public speaking class, we discuss audience analysis and talk about being audience-centred speakers. I would like to see if the anonymity provided by giving information with clickers would help the class better understand and have more compassion for their classmates, particularly in terms of traits, experiences or beliefs that are usually kept private. (I have heard student speeches that discuss or allude to the damaging effects and sinfulness of, for instance, homosexuality. I have advised those students that their speech might particularly fall on deaf ears, if not offend, people who are gay or have a friend or family member who is gay. I always wonder if they would be more compassionate if they knew that there are gay people right in their midst or people who have a gay brother, etc.) In this case, I have honest doubts about their potential efficacy in a class size of 20-30. It is one thing to commit anonymously, for example, to giving a speech 7 out of 10. When it comes to closely held personal information, people still might be very reluctant to divulge anything in such a small population. See Appendix B for proposed audience analysis questions.

Some recent research has started to address the use of clickers as these relate to post-secondary students. Most studies focus on the usefulness of clicker technology in large-lecture settings. Margie Martyn, a computer information systems instructor at a small American college, studied four classes totalling 92 students, which is similar to the size of my classes, although what she teaches and used the clickers for is different from what I plan to do. Still, her 2007 study comparing use of a student response system (students answered knowledge-related questions anonymously using hand-held wireless keypads or clickers) vs. another active learning approach (class discussion) has some value for this proposal. Her students reported that they perceived that using clickers helped them with their grades even though her study did not show any significant difference in learning outcomes (which she defined as their final exam grade) between the two groups.

Martyn conducted the study to see whether the benefit of using clickers is more about the active learning aspect of using the devices. Her study suggests that may well the case. She also writes about some observed benefits of clickers that bolster the approach I am proposing: student anonymity helps more reticent students take part; students enjoy the “gaming” aspect of pushing keypad buttons; feedback in the moment is helpful (Martyn, 2007). Her study, while not making any big claims for higher grades caused by clickers vs. other active learning approaches, adds to a body of work that shows that students, if nothing else, enjoy the active and anonymous aspect of using clickers. Her research makes me believe that student buy-in for using the Turning Point keypads will not be an issue.

Summary/Review of Rationale and Goals: In brief, how will using the emergent technologies improve public speaking class?

• Using all three technologies mentioned will enhance student engagement in the public speaking process (supported by Alexander, Maloney, Martyn, Prensky, Young)
• Using Internet sharing/social networking sites and classroom clickers will enhance student investment in their speeches (supported by Martyn, Turning Point, Young)
• Using classroom clickers will help students better understand to whom they might be speaking; they will enhance creation of a supportive class community (supported by Martyn, Turning Point)
• Using classroom clickers will provide opportunity for students to engage more fully in peer feedback (supported by Martyn, Turning Point)
• Using Internet sharing/social networking sites will encourage students to expand their comfort zones, stand up for their beliefs, put themselves “out there” and speak to the wider world (supported by Young)
• Using all three technologies mentioned will provide some opportunity to integrate “real life” with “school life” (supported by Alexander, Maloney, Martyn, Prensky)

Resources: What resources are required to make these improvements work?

• Students need a storage device like a “memory stick” (these are not prohibitively expensive and they are a required item along with the text book)

All of the rest of the resources needed, as listed below, are already available…
• Students need access to a computer and decent Internet connection, which at the very least they have at the college
• For in-class recording: appropriate computer, recording software and video camera
• SMARTboard and SMARTboard Notebook
• TurningPoint software and clickers
• LC Help Desk and audio-visual departments
• Support and advice from Marko Hilgersom (winner of the 2008 National Institute for Staff & Organizational Development Excellence Award for Educational Leadership), a colleague who has pioneered the use of TurningPoint at the college
• Support from Cathy Takeda, Chair of General Studies

How Do The Goals of Utilizing the Three Emergent Technologies in Public Speaking Class Address Required Outcomes?

All of the PRS 155 Speech outcomes (Lethbridge College) are as follows:

1. Apply public speaking skills toward personal and professional enhancement.
• The larger the audience or potential audience (e.g. YouTube viewers) for the student, the broader will be her experience. The broader the experience for the student, the more she will gain confidence. The more confidence gained by the student, the more she is able to stand up for herself and speak about what is meaningful to her, i.e. the more she is engaged in public speaking. The more the student is engaged in public speaking, the more able she will be to demonstrate this outcome.
• The more a student is able to integrate “school life” with “real life” (by using Web 2.0 tools; by speaking about what is meaningful to her) the more likely she is to demonstrate this outcome.
• The more a student understands her audience (enhanced through the use of clickers), the more she will be able to demonstrate this outcome.

2. Build and demonstrate self-confidence in oral communication.
• The more supportive the class community (enhanced by the broader understandings of audience learned through the use of TurningPoint), the more likely students will demonstrate this outcome.
• As mentioned above, the larger the audience or potential audience for the student (e.g. audience found through posting speeches on social networking site(s)), the broader her experience. The broader the experience of the speaker, the more confidence gained, which demonstrates this outcome.

3. Prepare and present a variety of public speaking assignments according to set criteria. (The set criteria for public speaking assignments do not need to alter for these technologies to be implemented.)

4. Assess and criticize your own and other’s speech presentations.
• The more engaged a student is with feedback (enhanced through the use of the active, tactile, 21st century-ish keypad clickers), the more she will be able to demonstrate this outcome.
• The more a student understands who her classmates are (enhanced by getting audience analysis information through the use of TurningPoint), the more comfortable she may feel about engaging in peer critique and thus the more likely she will demonstrate this outcome.
• The more a student feels safe and comfortable to offer criticism (enhanced through the anonymity of using clickers) the more she will be engaged in this process.

5. Plan, prepare, practice and deliver a presentation within a given time frame. (Time frames for speeches do not need to alter for these technologies to be implemented).

Assessment/Evaluation: How will I know I’ve succeeded?

Surveys: To know if using the three emergent technologies has been useful to the students, one tool I plan to use would be fairly simple surveys for the students to offer their feedback. See Appendix C for some survey samples. These surveys regarding perception, satisfaction, use, etc. would be given to them at the beginning and end of the course, and possibly points in between.

Measurement of participation: By measuring and recording the number of people using clickers for answering audience analysis questions or engaging in critique, I will know if people are using the TurningPoint technology. Some qualitative analysis may be needed (do the answers make sense and seem sincere?). But if the majority of the class were using the clickers when invited to, that would look like a measure of success. Similarly, if a large number of students decide to post speeches to a social networking/shared site, this also would be a measure of success—especially if their speeches garnered large audiences.

My own observations: By keeping a class diary of my observations about how the various technologies seemed to be working or not (as well as any suggestions on practices to improve how things go in the future), I will be able to reach some conclusions by the time term ends. See Appendix D for an observation checklist.

Timeline: When will what get done?

In August before term begins:
• Discuss FOIP issues regarding posting videos with applicable person at LC (as of finishing this assignment, she had not returned my call or email)
• Get some hands-on training using Turning Point (the person who can show me is on holiday until August 18)
• Talk with Marko again about what I plan to do, any suggestions/advice
Early September:
• Give the students a pre-use of technology survey (see Appendix C)
• Introduce the idea of posting a speech on a sharing/social networking site to the students and get student feedback (possible questions: would they consider doing it? what issues would they foresee? what would help them participate?)
• Introduce clickers and do some kind of introductory exercise with them (students at the college are mostly unfamiliar with them, as well)
• Notify other PRS 155 Speech instructor-colleagues about this experiment
After TurningPoint intro:
• Have TurningPoint critique questions and audience analysis questions set up for every class or most classes (we evaluate speeches almost every class) and build the use of them (i.e. I envision using them for fairly simple or innocuous questions at first and then perhaps getting more specific and rigorous)
With regard to posting speeches:
• I would like to gauge that as the class unfolds
• I don’t see any reason in this experimental phase to arbitrarily decide when this needs to happen or what speech (I will probably leave it open for the student to choose what speech they would like to post)
• I’m guessing more will participate in the second half of the term when the class has had some experience and comfort with presenting
Near end of term:
• Use end of term survey to get student feedback about the use of these technologies (see Appendix C)
Post-term:
• Create report to share with colleagues.

Possible Impediments: What might go wrong?

• There may be Freedom of Information and Privacy Act problems that would curtail any plans for us to post speeches online
• Technology glitches could occur that hold up class or cause bigger issues. Even just connecting the laptop to the projector and getting the college network to work are sometimes issues which have taken place due to circumstances beyond my control, i.e. glitches have occurred without always being caused by me being a techno-idiot. I see these as being an occasional thing not overarching.
• My teaching style is quite loose and spontaneous. Clicker questions need to be planned and prepared ahead of time. This may cause me discomfort. One possible solution I foresee is to have clicker questions prepared but not using them if it doesn’t fit with how I’m running class that day.
• No or little student buy-in.

Appendix A

Proposed Critique Questions (using TurningPoint Clickers)

These are simplified and modified from my usual speech evaluation forms. Students will answer whether they strongly agree, agree, have no opinion, disagree or strongly disagree. They will also be asked to give the speech a mark out of 10.

The speaker maintained eye contact and audience connection.

The speaker seemed serious and/or enthusiastic about his/her subject. He/She had good energy.

The speaker seemed prepared.

The speaker spoke extemporaneously. He/she did not read her cards or appear overly rehearsed).

The speaker created few distractions (e.g. filler words, fidgets, clothing, gum, etc.).

The speaker had a strong introduction in which he/she stated his/her central idea.

We understood his/her motivation for speaking.

The speaker had a strong central idea. He/She took a stand.

The speaker supported his/her central idea well (strong evidence, moving testimony, logic, examples, etc.).

The speech flowed well. It was well organized.

The speaker had a strong conclusion that reinforced the central idea.

I enjoyed/I was engaged by the speech.

The speech should get _______ out of 10.

Appendix B

Proposed Audience Analysis Questions

I am creating these on the basis of what I’ve seen in past classes. My hope is that by seeing the answers to some of these questions, my speakers will, as I’ve written above, better understand and have more compassion for their classmates, in terms of traits, experiences or beliefs that are usually kept private.

It’s likely that I’ll base these types of questions on what I’m observing in each particular section so these are not meant to be hard and fast; they are possibilities. I’d also like to take suggestions from the students for questions. As well, I would only do a few per class—little windows into souls.

TF = True or False
Agreement scale = Students will answer whether they strongly agree, agree, have no opinion, disagree or strongly disagree.

If people knew more about some of what I have been through in my life, they might be more understanding of people like me. TF

Racial prejudice is not a problem in Lethbridge. Agreement scale

Prejudice based on gender or sexuality is not an issue in Lethbridge. Agreement scale

I have experienced racial prejudice. TF

I have experienced prejudice based on my gender. TF

I have expressed racially prejudicial or sexually prejudicial remarks. TF

I have been bullied. TF

I have been a bully. TF

I have been a victim of violence. TF

I have been a perpetrator of violence. TF

I experience fear of violence, bullying and/or prejudice. Agreement scale

Premarital sex is not a big deal. Agreement scale

I am or have been sexually active. TF

I am a virgin. TF

I am abstinent because of my religious beliefs. TF

I am sexually active even though it is against my religious beliefs. TF

I am straight. TF

I am gay, bisexual or still not sure. TF

Someone important to me (friend, family member) is gay or bisexual. TF

I have experienced prejudice based on my sexuality. TF

I have expressed prejudicial remarks about people’s sexuality. TF

I am or have been afraid to acknowledge my sexuality freely around most people. TF

My parents are divorced. TF

I am divorced or separated. TF

I have experienced child abuse. TF

I have never tried hard drugs. TF

I have dealt with addiction. TF

I have overused food/smoking/alcohol/drugs/gambling/porn/gaming/TV/shopping. TF

I would describe myself as mostly content. Agreement scale

I would describe myself as mostly unhappy. Agreement scale

I have dealt with depression. TF

I am on medication to help me with my mental health. TF

Abortion should be illegal. Agreement scale

I am against abortion. Agreement scale

I have had or someone close to me has had an abortion. TF

I felt comfortable answering personal questions using these clickers. TF

I answered these questions honestly. TF

Appendix C

Survey Samples Regarding Use of Technology

TF = True or False
Agreement scale = Students will answer whether they strongly agree, agree, have no opinion, disagree or strongly disagree.

Beginning of Term

I have never used clickers before. TF

I am interested to see how clickers will help me become a better speaker. Agreement scale

I am interested in the idea of posting a speech online. Agreement scale

Mid-Term

Clickers help me be a better, more honest critic of speeches. Agreement scale

Clickers give me a better idea of where I’ve succeeded and where I need to improve as a speaker. Agreement scale

Clickers help me learn about my audience. Agreement scale

Learning about my audience through the use of clickers has helped me become a better speaker. Agreement scale

Written comments:

End Of Term

Clickers have helped me be a better, more honest critic of speeches. Agreement scale

Clickers have given me a better idea of where I’ve succeeded and where I need to improve as a speaker. Agreement scale

Clickers have helped me learn about my audience. Agreement scale

Learning about my audience through the use of clickers helped me become a better speaker. Agreement scale

Clickers helped me engage in speech class. Agreement scale

Posting a speech online was a valuable experience. Agreement scale

Posting a speech online helped me a better speaker. Agreement scale

I would recommend the use of clickers for critiquing speeches in speech class. Agreement scale

I would recommend the use of clickers for audience analysis purposes in speech class. Agreement scale

I would recommend that speech students post a speech online. Agreement scale

Written Comments:

Appendix D

Classroom Observation Checklist

I’ll be looking for and evaluating…

Engagement vs. disengagement
Comfort vs. discomfort (some discomfort is to be expected; too much pushes them away)
Comments made
Collaborative moments
Ah-ha moments
Glitches and their causes
Smiles vs. frowns
Conflict ( might be good for learning; might be too much)
Focus and concentration vs. zoning out and avoiding
Connection and community vs. separation
Building confidence vs. harming confidence
Fun
Honesty
Feels like too much technology vs. technology integrates smoothly
Et cetera

References

Alexander, Bryan (2008). Web 2.0 and emergent multiliteracies. Theory Into Practice, 47(2), 150-160. Retrieved June 18, 2008, from http://0-www.informaworld.com.darius.uleth.ca:80/smpp/section?content=a792189474&fulltext=713240928

International Society for Technology in Education (2007). National educational technology standards. Retrieved August 6, 2008, from http://www.iste.org/AM/Template.cfm?Section=NETS

Lethbridge College. (2008). PRS 155: Speech course outline.

Maloney, E.J. (2007). What Web 2.0 can teach us about learning. Chronicle of Higher Education, 53(18), B26. Retrieved June 17, 2008, from http://0-web.ebscohost.com.darius.uleth.ca:80/ehost/detail?vid=1&hid=3&sid=29564a19-5007-48eb-b678-f70a9880502f%40SRCSM2

Martyn, M. (2007). Clickers in the classroom: an active learning approach. EDUCAUSE Quarterly. 30(2), 71-74. Retrieved June 3, 2008, from http://connect.educause.edu/Library/EDUCAUSE+Quarterly/ClickersintheClassroomAnA/40032

Prensky, M. (2005-2006). Listen to the natives. Educational Leadership, 63(4), 8-13. Retrieved May 25, 2008, from http://0-web.ebscohost.com.darius.uleth.ca/ehost/detail?vid=1&hid=113&sid=3b901d1a-43b8-443e-824e-2c88327bb274%40sessionmgr106

SMART Technologies ULC (2006, March). Interactive whiteboards and learning: Improving student learning outcomes and streamlining lesson planning. 1-14. Retrieved August 6, 2008, from http://www2.smarttech.com/st/en-US/Resourcelibrary/Publications/white+papers/

Starkman, N. (2006, May 1). The wonders of interactive whiteboards. T.H.E. Journal, 1-3. Retrieved August 6, 2008, from http://www.thejournal.com/articles/18500

Turning Technologies LLC (2006-2008). TurningPoint® case study: Common Ground Church community. Retrieved August 6, 2008, from http://www.turningtechnologies.com/governmentnonprofitinteractivepresentation/commongroundchurch.cfm

Warlick, D. (2006). A day in the life of Web 2.0. Technology & Learning, 27(3), 20-26. Retrieved June 18, 2008, from http://0-find.galegroup.com.darius.uleth.ca:80/itx/retrieve.do?contentSet=IAC-Documents&resultListType=RESULT_LIST&qrySerId=Locale%28en%2CUS%2C%29%3AHQE%3D%28__HR__%2CNone%2C41%29sn+1053-6728+AND+vo+27+AND+iu+3+AND+sp+20%24&sgHitCountType=None&inPS=true&sort=DateDescend&searchType=CCLSearchForm&tabID=T003&prodId=ITOF&searchId=R1&currentPosition=1&userGroupName=leth89164&docId=A154004526&docType=IAC

Young, J. R. (2007). An anthropologist explores the culture of video blogging. Chronicle of Higher Education, 53(36), A42. Retrieved June 18, 2008, from http://0-web.ebscohost.com.darius.uleth.ca:80/ehost/detail?vid=10&hid=112&sid=cbf90bab-48c4-401c-ac5d-b426ec32a0ef%40sessionmgr107

Here’s another paper I wrote for foundational theories of education class….

“Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains.”
Jean Jacques Rousseau

What does it mean to be fully human? This is the question that most concerns the two philosophers that I will discuss, Rousseau and Paulo Freire. I also wrestle with this question—it is an urgent, serious, and deeply personal inquiry for me. For me, and for these great thinkers, the purpose of education is to bring humans closer to a state of full humanity. Thus an educated person is a fully human person.

Rousseau felt society was corrupt and contaminating: “God makes all things good; man meddles with them and they become evil.” Civilization, he believed, did not make people happy, in fact quite the opposite. Education in his time often consisted of focusing on rehashing long-ago exploits of “heroic” figures. As well, in a wonderful description that fits what Freire would term later as the “banking model” of education, Rousseau derides the worthlessness of common teaching methods that he witnessed: “My picture of hopeless stupidity is a pedant teaching the catechism to children.”

For Rousseau, the focus on top-down learning imposed by a corrupt, corrupting, and certainly not heroic authority was useless—worse than useless, it was the cause of society’s ills. “We must,” wrote Rousseau, “choose between making a man or making a citizen. We cannot make both.” His solution was to remove the student to a natural setting where the learning process would come primarily through sensational experience rather than verbal bullying and brainwashing. There, where “life is the business [Rousseau] would have him learn,” the student would become a free and self-loving being—self love as opposed to self-esteem, esteeming oneself above others as the result of living in a corrupt society.

For Rousseau, the educated person, or the fully human person, had a deep connection with nature. He had a love for self that also translated into being a person who is part of an order that would be created by other self-loving educated people called the “common good.” In other words, though Rousseau would take his student out of society, the result was supposed to be, not just a better person, but a better society once the student (and others like him) was ready to go back.

Like Rousseau, I see a more fully human person as one who is connected to the natural world, one who is engaged with her senses and one who is self-loving. I too see self-love as an underpinning for the common good of society. As Rousseau saw it, and I agree, when people have the self-sufficiency of self-love they are more authentically free and able to make their way in the world without resorting to dysfunctional methods of getting what they want (manipulative, corrupt, contaminated). Self love=better, happier person=better, happier world. But his idea of raising children like orphaned bear cubs seems crazy or at least unworkable. And his unqualified rejection of society (though I do understand where he is coming from) is overbearing and unbalanced. Wrote Rousseau: “Give us back ignorance, innocence and poverty.” No thanks, I say, and so did Freire.

For me and for Freire, an educated person needs to be engaged in the world, society and nature. And for Freire, disengagement from these occurs when men have been oppressed, i.e. ignorant, impoverished and innocent of the ways of the world. He has no rosy glasses when discussing the lot of the peasant class. Freire wrote that the purpose of education is to help men become “fully human” (we both use the same words) and like Rousseau (and me) he talks about freedom and self-love when he says education is for men to become “beings in themselves.” As mentioned above, Freire deplores the “banking model” of education, where the teacher represents an all-knowing authority and the students listen “meekly.” This system, according to Freire, is deadening. It sucks meaning and power away from the student; it keeps the student in his place, i.e. a handy/uncomplaining cog/worker in the economic system that serves only a few; the student is not meant to question and has no skills or confidence to do so.

So for Freire, a fully human, engaged, educated person is one who is able to think critically and creatively; he doesn’t just solve problems handed to him, he poses problems—this inquiry “rejects communiqués and embodies communication.” He is conscious and not only is he conscious, he is conscious that he is conscious. Freire fills in some of Rousseau’s blanks. Yes, liberation or freedom is the result of education but liberation is not just a theory, liberation is theory in action; a fully human person is one who acts upon the world. Liberation is transformative for the person and for the world; his humanization makes him empathetic and that shifts society.
Here is Freire’s “agenda in a nutshell” (Grigg):

“Problem-solving education, as a humanist and liberating praxis, posits as fundamental that men subjected to domination must fight for their emancipation. To that end, it enables teachers and students to become Subjects of the educational process by overcoming authoritarianism and an alienating intellectualism; it also enables men to overcome their false perception of reality. The world—no longer something to be described with deceptive words—becomes the object of transforming action by men which results in their humanization.”

I, too, believe we must fight for our emancipation and overcome our false perception of reality. I, too, believe we must transform the world through action.

I would take it a step farther than Freire. For me, oppression is not solely about class struggle (although, of course, that dynamic is still very much at play, especially in the global sense, e.g. developed world, developing world and Africa) or gender struggle or race struggle, etc. I am interested in the oppression of congnocentrism (thank you, Lance, for teaching me this word). This oppression affects every human person on the planet.

Of all the philosophers we studied, Freire probably comes closest to describing what I think of as a fully human person and my ideas about the purposes of education. Rousseau resonated for me in his pained critique of society and his palpable yearning to be connected to something good and pure. My idea of a fully human person has all those traits valued by Freire (empathetic, confident, critical, conscious, communicative, collaborative, creative, problem-solving, active, engaged, etc.) as well as those prized by Rousseau (good, pure, moral, self-loving, sense-attentive).

I will add to these: a fully human person is a whole person. She is more than thinking and acting upon her thoughts or consciousness. Her consciousness is bigger than mental activity; it is integrally connected to her physical body and her emotional/spiritual self. She moves, she plays, she sings, she dances, she is sensual and sexual—physicality is not reduced to eyes reading, fingers typing, feet walking, hands creating, etc. She uses her body fully and creatively—she is comfortable in her own skin. She is emotionally aware, comfortable with emotions, conscious and aware of her emotional being. She is able to have a level of spiritual peace even in physical or mental or emotional discomfort because she has been able to live and grow without the imposition of phony emotional and physical limits. She is able to have these experiences in communion with others. She has access to joy. She has fun!

God, I wish I were this person! Like Rousseau and Freire, whose sufferings made them formulate their educational theories, my profound sense of loss of my whole self has shaped my own ideas. You don’t like the term meta-cognition; I don’t like the term depression. Too fucking reductive. Sure, take pills to make you feel better, who am I to say that’s a bad idea? I’ve done it myself. But please don’t tell me it’s just because of brain chemistry! “Man is born free and everywhere he is in chains.” You don’t need to tell me.

I haven’t had time to blog lately but here’s a paper I wrote for my foundational theories of education class…

“Be the change you want to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi

I am interested in the expansion and realization of human potential—for myself and for others. I am a person who has done a lot of work on myself. I have led and continue to lead an examined life. I am serious about working to create balance, depth and health in my life. Still, I have suffered and continue to suffer from the limited beliefs about myself that came to me through the usual conduits: family, school, and society. It is very difficult to break free of these bonds on the mind. I struggle with these daily. My main purpose as a teacher is to expose my students to their potential beyond these bonds.

I find the story of the elephant and the rope illustrative. The baby elephant’s leg is tied to a tree with a thin rope to keep him from wandering off. He grows up and his owner still uses a rope; it is one that he could easily break. But he never does because he thinks he can’t, even when the jungle is burning around him. To me this epitomizes humanity. We are stuck in what passes for normal, mired in habits, rarely able to break free from our figurative ropes. Not only does this cause individual pain, I believe it has led us to the glaring global problems we are facing. Microcosmically and macrocosmically, we need a shift.

Though I am grateful to be a woman born in the second half of the 20th century in a relatively tolerant country, I believe in Canada we live in what is still quite a backward society. When my first daughter was two I had this realization that societally we are at the emotional maturity level of a two-year-old. Give me. Mine. Shiny. Pretty. Sweet. Bigger. More. And do we ever need somebody to clean our diaper (think tar sands, for instance). For the sake of my children, and all children, I want the human race to grow up. I would like to see the often frightening speed of change that we are witnessing in the world become a whole paradigm shift—from competition to compassion, from separation to connectedness, from ego-based living to soul-based living.

Because of my life experiences I have acquired a wisdom that I would like to share with others. On the other hand (the less evolved hand), I get very impatient. What seems obvious to me is not obvious to others. This, for instance, is obvious to me: we live in a world that is radically out of balance. I choose to use the terminology of energy; I believe we live in a world that, although there has been progress, is the continuation of millennia of masculine energy systems. By masculine energy I mean the hard energy of build! fight! achieve! win! as opposed to such feminine energy qualities as softness, openness, acceptance, nurturing. Push vs. flow. Intellect vs. intuition. (In my rational moments, I do not find it useful to blame men or even use the term “patriarchy.” Humans embody both of these energies.) That overbalance to the masculine has brought us to where we are today.

By where we are today I mean the deep trouble we are in: global poverty, engrained and systematized misogyny, disintegration of families, addiction, sexualization of children, war and insanely advanced weaponry, violence, greed, pollution, global warming, etc. There are, of course, also examples from where we are today that indicate progress. In my world, one manifestation that I find very heartening is that of the involved and loving father, a rare animal when I was a kid. We just have such a long way to go. It’s a big job, a job that feels seriously urgent to me, and I consider it my personal mission to be part of the solution.

In my teaching life, for instance, I consider it my responsibility to address these problems, although I often find it wiser to do so indirectly. While the subject of global ills does come up in my classes (I am a contract instructor at Lethbridge College and occasionally at the U of L, mostly teaching public speaking and writing), I don’t find it constructive to make my concerns the main focus; to persuade I have to understand my audience. In other words, I have come to the conclusion that passing on my knowledge is not necessarily useful. Knowledge does not necessarily change behaviour and I do see my role as an agent for that kind of change. What is more useful is finding ways—what might be called curriculum—of getting people to expand their minds. When people have more clarity and openness in their thinking, whether you would term it critical thinking, creative thinking or caring thinking, this is when changes can occur. Critical thinking: why do I think this? Can this idea be supported? Creative thinking: why don’t I try this and see how this might work? Or caring thinking: how might this affect others? Even just for a moment, they get beyond their small world and look at a bigger picture. When small worlds shift, so does the big world.

Clarity and openness are difficult to attain and maintain—there are many conflicting and loaded messages out there. Even with clarity, learning is not simple. Learning is an ongoing, lifelong process. Learning is about constant reevaluation. A simple example is that of the 46-year-old mother of two young kids (okay, me) who knows she should exercise and eat vegetables (I mean, who doesn’t know this?). She even believes she would probably feel better if she made better dietary choices and walked around the block once in a while. But her current habits work for now for various reasons. Her learning is ongoing as is her life. Her kids will grow and she may figure out a way to fit in more time for self-care, she may feel so crappy after eating too many spudnuts that she goes on a salad binge, who knows where this learning process will go? Learning is a lot about muddling along and finding what works. With my students it’s about giving them experiences that change how they look at themselves and the world; they find new ways to make things work, literally and figuratively.

I had no conscious intention of becoming a teacher; I was a freelance journalist and an artist living on the edge. Very strong inner urgings, however, drew me to deepen my yoga practice and in the mid to late 1990s I went to do that at Kripalu Center, in Lenox, Massachusetts, which is (or was at the time) the largest holistic health and yoga studies institution in the US. Through what I consider to be karma (which is a kind of knowing that comes from a deeper source than the conscious mind), but what other people might call coincidence, I began leading yoga classes and experiential workshops there like it was what I was born to do.

I led yoga sessions; I led groups in creative activities like writing, drawing and painting; I led partner massage and conscious communication workshops. I am able to let go of needing something specific to happen; I can hold the space, set an intention and let whatever happens happen. “Holding the space” is about trusting the integrity of the moment and the group; it’s also about paying attention and guiding, not getting off track and keeping firm boundaries. For these types of activities, I don’t require a “right way” to do things. But it is sad to see how brainwashed we are to think there has to be one. Much of what I do is about helping people let go of their fear of making mistakes. In the beginning of my art workshops, for instance, I’d get participants to chant, “I’m allowed to fuck up! I’m allowed to fuck up!” In partner massage workshops, I used to tell the participants, “If you have a kind intention, you are giving a gift.” When I lead yoga classes, I encourage people to focus on what their own bodies need rather than feeling they have to follow everything that I do. Giving people permission to not be perfect and to do what feels right to them is extremely empowering. Indeed, these preconditions are essential to allowing creativity. Sadly, they are missing from any mainstream educational institution that I’ve been part of.

Still, I have come to teaching in more traditional environments with my imported attitude that I am there to hold the space and facilitate. I have also come to the traditional post-secondary environment with a kind of depressed shock and awe to see that so many of my students are zombies. I find it particularly depressing because I was just like them when I did my undergrad and I graduated 25 years ago. So little progress!

I was 17 when I arrived at university; I had a scholarship; I had been the top student all through school. Getting kudos for my high marks was enough reason for me to do what I’d been doing. But at university a) there were lots of other smart people and b) spewing back information and knowing facts didn’t quite cut it and c) I had no idea what I wanted “to do” once I realized that the routes for “success” fed me nothing. Suddenly, I had NO IDEA why I was there.

Many of my students also have no idea why they are on their way to a post-secondary degree or diploma. All they think they know is that they have to get a degree to be competitive in the job market, which is in many ways a lie. Some of them are lucky enough to have some clue about what they want to do and they head into more technical training. But so many of them are drowning—in family trouble, in addiction, in debt, in roommate crap, in job/school juggle, and/or just trapped by media/parental/peer messages about who they “should” be. I see NOTHING telling them about what awaits them when they leave school. In fact, I see the opposite. Getting a career for real? Ha. Good luck.

THIS is what the education system needs to address! My eldest daughter is going into grade two. She is in an ostensibly more enlightened program, the Montessori program, which is based on allowing children to follow their own curiosity and creativity. Yet much of her curriculum is about learning facts (know! be right!). From a young age we stifle the natural creativity of children by getting them to rehash, emphasizing correctness and measuring them (which always ends up pitting them against each other—win!). What is missing from so many of my college kids is any sense of knowing or trying to know answers to questions like: “How is this meaningful to me?” or even “What is meaningful to me?” or especially “Why is this meaningful to me?” This has been sucked out of them by our present education system and by the ease with which they are influenced by messages about what is “normal” or “valuable.”
First and foremost, we need to address what are sometimes called higher order needs: humans need love and joy; they need to value themselves; they need meaning and beauty in their lives. When people feel good about themselves, they are able to thrive and even ride out many tribulations (e.g. recently, in a Globe and Mail special report on mental health, a man said something like: “I’d rather be paralyzed or lose a limb than be depressed.”) Our lower order needs (food, shelter, etc.) are being met to the extent of global disaster because the higher order needs are hardly acknowledged. When these higher order needs are not addressed, learning also becomes difficult. Like my drowning students struggling to make sense of things, how can they take anything in when their worlds are upside down?

Ironically, there exists a set of humans who have an innate ability to access these higher order feelings. They are called children and we are busy screwing them over as I write. Why is it that we bring children to maturity without their childlike beauty and joy intact? We tell ourselves this is life. Our adult worldview does not let us see that joy and an open heart are part of our human birthright. Do I feel ripped off? Big time. I’d very much like to see the cycle stopped.

Pretty much every non-child walking the earth today operates out of a sense of self-worth that is attached to their ego (I am not exempt, of course). Healthy self-worth is childlike, i.e. not about what a great person you are but about feeling comfortable in your own skin. The actions that have brought us to the problems of today’s world were not created by people who feel comfortable in their skins but by people who need to make up for that lack of comfort, i.e. all of us.

I actually have a prescription. I cannot claim to know exactly how it will work but I do believe that if enough of us practice it that norms will change. I have actually created an interdisciplinary lifelong art project that is my own take on how this prescription might look (www.humanbodyproject.com). Here it is: we need to viscerally feel and accept our own vulnerability as flawed, physical, mortal beings. I believe that the more that we allow ourselves to understand and accept this in the felt sense, the more we will treat ourselves, each other, and the earth with care. I believe that this understanding will also lead us closer to the return of such childhood abilities as openness and joy.

Real learning requires vulnerability; no one can learn without making mistakes. Everyone has to begin where they are in the moment. One of the reasons that I know I’m meant to be a teacher is that I am a better person in the classroom. I am very tolerant and patient in a way that I am not outside of the classroom. I also understand the struggle of wrestling with my own preconceptions and habits. I know in a very deep, personal, and often painful way how difficult it is to go beyond my comfort zone.

Every time I walk into a classroom, I am operating from the point of view that these people, like me, deserve to feel their humanity. In other words, my first job is to love my students. My second job is to be a model for them. I allow myself to be vulnerable; I am one of them, not some infallible authority. My own vulnerability allows them to feel safe to explore their own. My third job is to provide experiences in a safe environment where they are able to take chances, make mistakes, and open up to a bigger way of thinking. A way of thinking exactly as you have termed it: critical, creative and caring. A way of thinking beyond limiting and deceiving norms or preconceptions. People learn from example and experience, not from being told—just look at the world.

Hi Tasha,
It’s taken me a bit of time to digest this whole process, but I think I can put it down on paper and do it enough justice to justify making it tangible by putting it on paper. Ha. So, yes, if you want, you can post my comments.

This whole experience was gigantic for me. First and foremost, it was a spiritual journey, and I wasn’t exactly sure why, but after months of shuffling through it, I think I have slightly put my finger on it.
I have always had body image issues. I have always felt “told” by “the big bad media” and my peers, that I wasn’t good enough. That my body wasn’t the right body. Ha. That my skin wasn’t clear enough, my breasts not symmetrical enough, my hair too dark, my legs too short. And I have believed all those things. When I would compare myself to models and porn stars… other women as portrayed by our society as what “beauty” is… I always looked different. And I have always thought that was a bad thing… because I have been told that that is a bad thing.
The months leading up to the Human Body Project were preparation for it. Those months were filled with self hatred, and crying until I ached, because the lies that I believed about my body just kept repeating in my head. One day, I just got so fucking sick of it (ha. I swear because I’m passionate… it oozes out, a million pardons). I knew the things I believed about my body were lies. I wanted to love my body! I wanted to accept me! Life passed, and a million synchronistic things occurred and when I saw the poster for the Human Body Project, I knew I HAD to be there. I even had a funny thought that if I could be naked in the middle of the room with Tasha, that I would. Which scared the SHIT out of me. But I knew I would do it if the opportunity arose.
So, I went to the HBP. And the Funniest thing occurred… the opportunity arose. Ha. So, I’m sitting in my chair, with a Fire in the center of my chest, knowing that I HAD to do this thing… be naked in the center of the room, with everyone else just staring. Ha. I knew the Divine was asking me to do it… that it would be healing. And I was thinking that it was a nightmare come to life! Ha. But I did it, and it was one of the best experiences in life.
The whole time I was sitting naked on that chair, the thought that kept repeating was “I can’t believe I am doing this” and “my grandmother would have a heart attack”. But I walked out of there not believing the lies that I had walked in with. It was so beautiful to sit next to three other lovely ladies, and just be seen. I had never spent time naked with other women. Ha. I plan on doing more of it now because it broke down so many barriers for me! Now I know in my deepest heart, that there is no such thing as “the right body”. There is no such thing as “the way I should look”. There is just me. There is just what I am and who else can I fucking be? Ha.
In a nutshell, I was able to confront my fears. I was able to show others all the things I was afraid were the “wrong things”. I was able to recognize that all my “flaws” were a complete fabrication. There is no such thing as a flaw when it comes to who I am. I am just me. And I was able to come to closer grips with that. It scared the hell out of me… and I LOVED every second of it.
A word of warning… It also unleashed the streaker in me. Ha. Watch out, Lethbridge!

Tasha, I just want to say thanks. This project has really affected my life, and I am so thankful that you are doing it.
Megan.

Background For HBP Blog Readers
This and the following post comprise an assignment I’ve written for my ED5850 class (Using Emergent Technologies to Support School Improvement) in the Masters of Education program at the University of Lethbridge. I thought at least parts of it might be of interest to HBP blog readers.

Background For My Instructors
As I’ve written in the ED5850 forums, who I am as a person is integral to who I am as an artist and a teacher. My mission for these roles is connected: I have a strong calling to use my own struggles with vulnerability and my own understanding of vulnerability to do whatever I can do to move humanity forward. As a mother, especially, I feel a deep sense of urgency. Survival of the fittest no longer cuts it in the interconnected world of the 21st century–I believe that we humans need to move to an expanded paradigm in order to survive, one that includes compassion in all of our endeavours (for ourselves, for each other and for the earth).

I am just one of many people who are concerned about the atrocious problems of the world, people who would also like to see this paradigm shift. Most of us have no idea what to do, though. In my independent art project, the Human Body Project (for more explanation, see the Human Body Project website), I can be seen as a teacher to my audience of something we can actually do to make change. By using my naked body as a human “sample” I offer an experiential learning opportunity. In essence, I am saying: “Use me as a starting point to explore in a felt sense your own human vulnerability.” That felt experience is the key, difficult though it may be. Like a classroom or workshop, I offer a place or situation where people can have permission and a chance to learn how. Also, like a teacher/facilitator, I offer outcomes: the more we deal with our own vulnerability the more we will be able to feel connected and compassionate; the more we feel it, the more we live it.

My mission and my art project are actually very related to the main subject I teach, public speaking at Lethbridge College. (I have also taught writing courses at the U of L and LC). What I am doing in my art project is, in some sense, a modeling for what students do in class. Whether students want to or not, they have to explore their vulnerability in a public speaking class. Also, whether they are conscious of it or not, students have a strong need to connect and form community. When a student speaks in public he or she is putting him or herself out there. And almost everyone has some kind of edge around that. My main job as an instructor of this class is to create a supportive environment so that students can feel safe in their vulnerability. The “we’re all in the same boat” message applies to both my art project and my class. I think I can say that when students leave my class they are not only better speakers, they have also experienced being part of a caring community.

For this assignment, I will address both my class at the college and my art project.

ICT-Related Vision/Place in Contemporary Educational Thinking
Human Body Project: The project is an ongoing one that mostly “lives” on the website anchored by an artist statement, documentation of the events, and my blog. I have had an “if you build it they will come” mentality about the site and, indeed, people from all over have contacted me to tell me that they have been moved by the project. It is necessary for the project to have an Internet presence to reach people.

My vision for it would be that the video documentation of the events would be there now (in reality I haven’t caught up on editing for about two years); and the photos and participant art and other website updates could be done easily and quickly. I would also be reaching lots more people and project events would be webcast or have their own reality TV show.

My project is very much about experiential learning, i.e. actually learning to deal with feelings of vulnerability (who does not avoid this?) vs. intellectual knowledge of our mortality (who does not know this?).

Public speaking class: There are two main ways I’d like to use emergent technology to expand what we do in class.

1) I’d love to see students really willing to stand up for themselves and for their views in a way that reaches beyond the classroom. We already record student speeches. I’d like to experiment with getting students to post their recorded speeches on MySpace or facebook or YouTube as a means of reaching further outwards.

2) I’d like as many students as possible to engage in critiquing presentations and for them to understand more clearly the possible diversity of their audiences. For these purposes, I’d like to use Turning Point student response system “clickers.”

Using Internet sharing/networking sites addresses the concept of authentic learning. Students will be encouraged to use sites where they are already “hanging out.” Using Turning Point also addresses the concepts of differentiated learning and universal design for learning. First of all, use of the “clickers” is tactile and in the moment. But, also, the anonymity of the responses helps to engage the more reticent students.

Synopsis (My Area at Lethbridge College)
I am a contract instructor, meaning I never know what I’ll be doing from one term to the next, but I have been teaching at least one section of the public speaking course almost every term since 2004. The usual class size is between 20-30 students. I am one of four regular public speaking instructors. The course is part of the General Studies program at the college but business students are also required to take it. My classes are usually at least half business students, 40%-ish general studies students and a smattering of CIT (Computer and Information Technology) and nursing students. (The class can be used as a U of L transfer GLER elective.)

Taking Stock
Connectivity: At the college, download speed measured at 7790 kilobits/sec and 6495 upload speed. At home it was slower: 4659 and upload was 484. I tested the college during a time of little traffic (May). But when working there during peak times in the past, I have not often remarked on any pokiness.

Hardware and Software: The college’s computers are never more than three years old. The Help Desk of the IT department tells me that computer features vary from year to year depending on prices and committee decisions. Today, the laptops I would be taking out of the library (I use two in my class; one for presenting and one for recording) are the 2005 Pentium M 1.6 = 1.6 GHz processor + 512 MB RAM + 40GB hard drive. They all have the MS Office suite. Students are pretty much expected to have at least their own desktop computers at home. There are also two large “commons” areas for the students where the desktop computers all have MS Office as well. (Other areas of the college and certain labs offer more differentiated software).

While my students need a computer to work on their presentations, they do not need to have a laptop with them in class and very few ever use one—the class does not require much note-taking and we go to the commons area if we have any time for in-class research.

ICT Integration and Applied Integration: In my classroom at the college, I have two laptops and a video camera (all on loan for each class from the college library), a memory stick with my PowerPoints, a projector, a SMARTBoard and a phone for calling an IT helper when I need one. I use the SMARTBoard for easy PowerPoint presentation. So do my students. We record every speech so that students can view their own speeches. Sometimes I’ll show the students a DVD using the laptop.

This all works pretty well. One good example of integrating emergent technology and a way we are meeting students’ needs is that in the last two years we started recording all student speeches. We used to have to use tape and storage/viewing was an issue so we would only record one per term. I think recording all of them has been very helpful for the students (for instance, it’s one thing to hear critique that you said “uh” so many times it was distracting to then actually see and hear yourself doing so… then see yourself improve in your next speech, etc). And with memory sticks and free QuickTime viewing ability, it’s super-easy to deal with the recordings.

In my art project, I’ve pushed not only my emotional edges but also my technological and organizational edges. I’ve used my husband’s expertise to build a website and set up a blog for me. During the actual events, I have photo and video recording help from several people. I have added the project to facebook groups because I want it to reach as many people as it can and I have a fairly big network on that site. But I am frustrated by the inability to link the blog to facebook. I like the idea of using facebook but at the same time don’t want the facebook group to replace the website and blog.

Integration and Support: The college has a large department of people who look after all aspects of technology. There is always somebody I can talk to at the Help Desk when I’m teaching. There are also librarians, audio-visual guys and behind-the-scenes people who make sure everything is working. I have also taken the technology-related course in the Instructional Certificate Program at Lethbridge College and I have had one-on-one help from the teachers whose job it is to help faculty use technology. And I meet informally with other instructors to see what they are doing. Because of this support, I have integrated WebCT, PowerPoint, the SMARTBoard and recording technology into my classes to my own and my students’ benefit.

For this assignment, I interviewed a colleague I admire who teaches ethics, religious studies and anthropology courses, just to see what technology he is using (Marko Hilgersom won the 2008 National Institute for Staff & Organizational Development Excellence Award for Educational Leadership). Among other technologies, Marko uses Turning Point Technologies’ student response system “clickers” in his classes. In his ethics class, for example, students use the “clickers” to anonymously answer touchy ethical questions to stimulate discussion. When he told me this, I could see right away that the anonymity of this application would work well in my classes in terms of critiquing speeches and learning about audience sensitivities.

I am fortunate to have “lower pyramid” support (as in the Spence video) at the college as well as a helpful program chair. I spoke with her after talking to Marko and learned that it will be fairly straightforward for me to start using the Turning Point student response system in the fall.

For my art project, my husband is my main ICT support crew. He has been working in software development since the mid-1980s and is about as much of a digital native as you can be at the age of 48. He is a wonderful and supportive resource. While we do not have a post-secondary-style budget, he is very knowledgeable about technology. The hardware and software needed for the project has not cost a whole lot so far. However, my vision of doing webcasts or a TV series will require more money (probably more for space than technology).

A Brief Reflection on 21st Century Learning
My teaching style is very much about collaboration and learning experientially. I am utterly depressed by rote learning and the way students have been turned into zombies by this method. As a teacher (and as part of my personal mission), it is of the utmost importance to me to do whatever I can do to get students to think critically. Against conventional wisdom, I encourage my students to talk about controversial topics—in a respectful and considered way. I believe an imperative component to learning critical thinking is to be exposed to views with which you do not agree. People in the real world do not always share your views! (One weakness of the digital age is that people choose their information providers to fulfill their own beliefs or interests, a case of hearing what only they want to hear.) I also believe students should have a similar attitude to my own in that who they are is not separate from what they do and what they are studying. I may be a digital immigrant, but, style-wise, I’ve got both feet in the 21st century (as in the International Society for Technology in Education description in the assignment).

As mentioned above, in terms of my class, besides encouraging collaboration, using the “clickers” would add more of a multi-sensory dimension to the public speaking class—using the clickers in the moment and having them literally at students’ fingertips. As well, conceiving a way to get students to post their speeches online will take their presentations beyond the classroom to a more authentic, “real world” context.

In terms of my project, my vision of it as a reality TV/webcast series fits in with the way most people learn, i.e. through TV/visual media.

I perceive the main barriers to establishing 21st century learning environments to be more about control issues than ICT issues. Indeed, my mission to encourage a deep understanding of vulnerability speaks very much to these obstacles. This is a huge, complex topic that I will only touch on here. The traditional learning environment is very much black and white, right vs. wrong. This way of being is far easier to manage both in a classroom and an administrative sense. The 21st century learning ideals espoused by the ISTE (and me) require an openness that many people and certainly most institutions are not able to muster. If emergent technology is moving us out of the traditional learning paradigm that may end up being its greatest raison d’etre.

School/Class/Project Improvement Learning Goals
LC Speech Class: Experiment with Turning Point “clickers” and assigning students to post at least one speech online to a shared networking site.

Human Body Project: Update the site. Apply for grants! Edit video. Develop TV series idea further. Write to production companies.

As a yoga practitioner and yoga teacher, yogic concepts have been very powerful growing tools in my life. Two of those concepts, compassion and presence (i.e. the act of being present), are simple to understand but difficult to embody. I mean I, for one, have difficulty with my family of origin and my next-door neighbours compassion-wise. And, while I have not found the usual absentizing substances useful for me for a long time, I would happily take a holiday from myself and read detective novels and eat cookies and popcorn in bed for three weeks if I got the chance. I am no shining star.

In my day-to-day life I also watch myself and my social discomfort. I often feel like I don’t belong and that people are judging me. I have various ways I try to defend myself against this discomfort. My defenses put people off. I’m just human. What I’m trying to point out is that we all have these kinds of difficulties and they are holding all of us back. Much of our social interaction is about avoiding vulnerability.

When we are overcompensating, when we are not present, when we are not able to feel compassion, we make the wrong choices. This applies on a macro- and micro-level. This applies to the current mess in my own head and the current mess in the world.

Many people are working on their difficulties these days. We want to feel better. We want to be more compassionate. That’s why TV shows like Oprah and Dr. Phil are so popular. People want clues. Oprah and Dr. Phil tell people what to do. I suggest this works only to a point. Many spiritual advisers and religions also offer less than practical advice.

For those of us who are ready, there is a deeper place that Dr. Phil and Oprah and Deepak Chopra and many pastors don’t seem eager to go to. There is a key to working on these individual icky places and our collective fucked-upness. That key is learning to experience vulnerability. This has to be experiential and visceral, i.e. felt.

In this project, i.e. my particular choice for exposing myself and others to a shared experience of vulnerability,  I’m saying that by dealing with nakedness (mine and those who join me; this self-exposing blog) you are going to feel vulnerable. I’m not saying this makes sense for everyone, but the people who are drawn to this project are looking for that kind of experience. I created this project because I need this kind of experience.

Another yogic concept is the idea of practice. The more practice we have feeling vulnerable, the easier it gets until, who knows, we may get better at being present and compassionate. This will aid us individually and globally.

I’m going to get around to writing a new artist statement (again) one of these days. And I also plan to post photos, art and writing from the last two events. Not to mention make some kind of video. And create a proposal for HBP to be a reality TV show (albeit a reality TV show totally turning tail on titillation and tittering… sometimes alliteration just happens).

In terms of a new artist statement, I’m starting to realize it has to be more of a mission statement. So here’s a start.

As a mother, artist and teacher I feel it is my mission to use my understanding of and struggles with vulnerability to help move people’s consciousness forward. We are bombarded with information about the problems of the world. To some, the problems seem insurmountable. To others, they seem far away and not applicable to our lives. Many people, like me, find the knowledge of such global atrocities as misogyny, poverty and violence a painful burden. What do we do?

I know what we need to do. I get that not everybody needs or is able to do it, but I believe many of us are. And if enough of us use my prescription, we will change the world. We need to experience vulnerability. Of course, we all experience vulnerability daily; we need to experience it in an expanded way.

My way, for those of you unfamiliar with the Human Body Project, includes using my own naked human body for the purposes of standing in for all of our vulnerable physical bodies. There are certainly other ways to facilitate an experience of vulnerability, but I’ve chosen to use my naked body because our bodies are the physical us: they are fragile, they are mortal, they are universal. Everything, in terms of this world, starts and ends here. And when I mention this world, I mean the earth. No matter what your religious or spiritual beliefs, you have a physical life on earth. And then you will die. And we all are in the same boat.

Because of our fear of facing death and all those concepts associated with death like aging, imperfection, loss of control, etc., we do not live properly. We are programmed to go elsewhere when we are faced with vulnerability. And we don’t have to go far. Along with too much information, we have too much distraction. Stuff to eat, watch, play, drink, buy, etc. is on constant offer, not to mention that we are surrounded by messed up messages and more and more distant/virtual ways of communicating.

We do not deal. We do not grow up. And we do not properly take care of ourselves, or others or the earth. We do not know how.

I don’t know how either. But what I do know is that enough of us need to get together and viscerally experience vulnerability and learn to be with vulnerability instead of avoiding it, or nothing will change. I am advocating paradigmatic shift here. I am advocating a completely new way of living in the world. I believe it is urgent and necessary and a precursor for our children’s health and lives.

(to be continued)